*I wrote this private Blog Post in December of 2017. It contains a variety of email exchanges with my Mother, Siblings, my Daughter, and a few cousins.
I had a strong sense this past summer that several people in our family were suffering with the side effects of sexual abuse.
On a day, June 6th 2017, that my Mother sent out a request to engage with her family with an email titled “Lighting the fire”, I decided to share a meme that I created on my phone along with several words restating my case of being sexually assaulted by my Dad, Richard G. Tripp.
I was very nervous to do this because often the backlash from me doing these things causes me to become incredibly ill, and this time was no different, I did have a full blown pancreatitis after this event, and my daughter, who also stood with me, had severe stress symptoms, but it was a son who had the greatest reaction to the email exchange.
I have wondered if I could even read this again without becoming ill, but I decided to go ahead today and save the emails in this blog post and then I will print them out and save the documents in my journal as a witness to my posterity.
Several of the grandchildren contacted xxx privately after she sent her email defending me to the group. xxx stance, which was strengthened by the support of her Dad and siblings, meant the world to me.
Jenny Hatch
My Response to My Moms Email: (accompanied by the above sexual abuse meme)
Dear Family,
I would love for all of you to experience and accept the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ regarding the healing of incest and sexual abuse.
This healing power is real, effective, and awesome.
I created a meme that has a few quotes on it.
Print it out, stick it on your fridge, mirror, or locker and ponder the messages contained therein.
Jenny
On Tuesday, June 6, 2017, 7:13 AM, Richard & Carolyn Tripp wrote:
Dear family,
We have come to the end of another school year. I received a lovely note from xxx where she included a quote that is probably said often at this time of year: “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire” and is attributed to William Butler Yeats.
I have a fire that burns in me to understand the source of a good quote. So I went looking for information regarding Yeats and this particular quote. I found the following article:
In answer to the question “Does anyone out there know the source for the quote from Yeats about education and starting fires?”, there were a number of responses. One was from a classics scholar who suggested the quote was a paraphrase of Plutarch, who wrote, according to some translations, “The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.”
I have been reading Go Forward with Faith, the biography of Gordon B Hinckley. He is a trusted source of wisdom and practical advice, and I am so glad we are taking time to study his teachings during third hour at church. He had much to say about the importance of a good education. Here is one of his quotes:
“Whatever you choose to do, train for it. Qualify yourselves. Take advantage of the experience and learning of those who have gone before you in whatever field you choose. Education is a shortcut to proficiency. It makes it possible to leapfrog over the mistakes of the past.”
I encourage all of you to reply to this e-mail with one of your favorite quotes, perhaps something you have heard recently while attending end of year programs or graduation ceremonies, or something you learned during this past year of school.
Love from mom (Grammy)
My Brother
Hey Y’all.
I’ll quote the Incomparable Janelle Monae singing with Jaspects:
Love comes and goes
For many people
But you’ve been here for some time
And I realize who you are
My truest love
Sent from above
I wonder if it’s real
What I feel
But I know one thing
And I know it’s true
I love you
My first love
My first love
I feel so strong
When you’re with me
Melodies flow through me
I feel alive
Everybody knows
That you come first
I wouldn’t compromise
It took time
Now I recognize
But I know one thing
And I know it’s true
I love you
My first love
Music I love you
Here’s the track for your enjoyment:
I’ll also quote the prophet Chance The Rapper:
“music is all we got!”
Keep it funky.
Love,
Uncle
My Nephew
Hello everyone,
Interesting enough, there was a quote I heard this past week that made me pause and think, and then go searching for who said it because I liked it so much. As you may guess, it pertains to the military. This quote is attributed to Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher around 500 B.C.
“Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they the battle make. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.”
I heard it in a book I recently finished about the Ranger Regiment and the war in Afghanistan. I try to build my life such that I can be the one to help bring my brothers and sisters back, physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc. I am at a point in my life, and I think I might have been at this point for a little while now, where I no longer feel the need to constantly think about me and look inward.
Being finished with college and well into my career has afforded me the opportunity to take a more outward approach, and I like it. I am very grateful for my formal education, and agree that it is a time for inward searching to discover likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. And being able to build on what I’ve learned has allowed me to better assist those around me.
It reminds me of D&C 18:15-16. Helping others strengthen their testimonies and grow is where I am most happy, whether those “others” are strangers, friends, or my own children.
Here’s to a great Tuesday!
Love,
My Brother
Helluva quote,
Love the positive energy from this kind of thing. Thanks to everyone who shares. So many great quotes to choose from. Some of my favorites are:
“Find someone who is having a hard time, or is ill, or lonely, and do something for him or her.” Thomas S. Monson
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16
“Soldiers generally win battles; generals get credit for them.” – Napoleon
love
My Brother
To
Jenny Hatch
CC
Dear Jenny:
This kind of email is not appropriate. I am especially unhappy that you sent it to my kids.
As these allegations were sent to everyone – and given dad’s current medical condition and limited ability to speak for himself – my response is to everyone:
Dad denied all of your allegations years ago – in writing.
Neither dad nor mom nor I have made any attempt to silence you, Jenny – we have welcomed and continue to welcome a discussion of your allegations. Such a discussion must be in person, but could include anyone you are comfortable with, such as family, a bishop, or a counselor – that offer was refused by you, but it still stands.
I have collected materials over the years related to your accusations, Jenny.
They will not be published, but they will be shared with adult family members who want to review them in person and draw their own conclusions.
Your brother
My Sister
Well I have been at scout camp all day for the last two days and just walked in the door. The quote that is most relevant to me right now is one I heard at a recent scout training:
“The kid in your den who you find it the hardest to love is probably the one who most needs your love.”
I share this with all of my leaders and teachers in the hopes that each of us can show some patience to the kids who are struggling.
Thanks for your clear response to Jenny.
Jenny, I am so sorry that you continue to feed your delusions. I truly pray that you can find healing.
For anyone interested, Jenny has also made claims about me being sexually molested and I can say with certainty I never experienced any abuse or witnessed any (or anything like it.) I’m so sorry that my sister is in such pain. I miss her so much!
The movie “A Beautiful Mind” was helpful for me in understanding her situation.
Love and miss you all!
My Sister
Jenny,
For the record, I never experienced any abuse or saw anything like it. The allegations you make are completely inconsistent with the man I knew as a child and the man I know today. If I have been silent, it has been out of compassion for you and your family.
My Brother
From a birthday card I received from
“Today’s forecast: God will reign and the Son will shine.” That’s a great quote in my book. I don’t know who said it first. It was a much better forecast that the one we had for our bike ride between Niagara Falls and Niagara on the Lake today (cold and rainy.)
But we pressed on anyway and were blessed throughout the day with safety, strength to make the ride, shelter when we needed it, and beautiful views of the majestic falls (the Canadian side is so much better than the USA side,) And it was a lovely ride along the Niagara river up to where it empties into Lake Ontario. When you stand next to where the water is flowing over the falls, it is shocking to see so much water moving so fast.
I’m feeling alive at 55! 🕺🏻
Jenny, I love you and I’m sorry you are in such pain. I regret that you have written like this to everyone in the family.
I continue to pray that you might be delivered from your challenges. I also have a testimony of the healing power of Christ’s atonement. I believe it has power to heal you, be it from actual abuse or mental illness. It can bridge any gap. In the meantime, may we be kind to each other.
In fact this brings to mind another quote, this one from Mother Teresa who wrote, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
Love to all,
My Sister
I feel like I need to say more.
I spent over two decades trying to support my sister through her struggles. It’s hard to describe the emotional toll it took on me and my own family as I spent hours listening to her recall events that I believed never happened. I truly thought that with counseling and medication, she would be able to see things clearly.
Regardless, my love for you hasn’t diminished and I only wish you peace and healing, Jenny.
I think about and love my Hatch nieces and nephews more than they’ll ever know. I haven’t tried to engage any of you out of fear it would do damage to your relationship with your mother, something I would never want.
You need to know this is not the first time this has happened.
For over sixteen years, Jenny has periodically sent out mass emails accusing various members of our family of abusing her.
As the years have gone on, the list has grown and the allegations have intensified.
About ten years ago, while we were living in Sweden, Jenny began to make a new set of claims specifically regarding our father.
We had many long, painful discussions via phone and email and she eventually cut me out of her life for refusing to accept what she claims happened not only to her, but to me and other siblings. She’s repeatedly tried to convince us that we have unrecovered memories and are living in denial.
As her closest sibling and as a person who shared a bedroom with her for nearly my entire life growing up, I assure you none of the things she’s claimed have happened.
Not to me, not to any of my siblings, and not to her.
All of this is painful for all involved, but I want to reiterate that my love for Jenny is unchanged.
Given the circumstances, nothing she could say or do will change that. We’ve had significant challenges in the Tripp family in the past – we will in the future.
My parent’s lifelong examples have taught me what enduring, faithful love can do. Nothing is stronger than this kind of love. They continue to be the strongest influence for good in my life.
I love all of you and am grateful for the many close, loving relationships I’ve had and continue to be blessed by in the Tripp family.
Love,
My Brother
Hi Everyone,
Please remove my kids from future posts to this thread.
Best,
My Brother
Will do, thanks for letting me know.
My Brother
Done.
My First response to the initial email exchange (Please note my parents never responded to any of these emails and neither did any of the grandchildren except my daughter)
Jenny Hatch Jun 8 at 8:47 AM
The Natural Family BLOG
All Rights Reserved C 2005-2017 Natural Family Blog “Healthy Families Make A Healthy World!”
Hey Everyone,
Good to know where things stand.
xxx, we are in a financial pit right now, so an airline flight and “gathering” around a sexual abuse/Jenny insanity meeting is not in our budget, but I would love to set up a family Skype meeting to discuss your evidence.
Please let me know when would be a good time for you and I formally invite anyone interested to join in on the call.
xxx, for the record, I did not cut you out of my life.
I let Mom and Dad know in Dec of 2012 that I was going to engage in a Protest (boycott if you will) to let them know that I would be silent until Dad publicly apologized to me.
I titled the email “struggle” and it is pasted below.
Jenny
Dad,
I have been struggling to know how to be a part of our family circle.
This whole past year, the main desire of my heart was to re establish contact with you and Mom and make efforts to connect with the extended family.
I have fully forgiven you for the molestations.
The holy spirit whispered to me that you and uncle xxx experienced 100 times more assaults than were inflicted on me and that understanding has helped me to be in a more forgiving place.
It is what I meant when we talked on the phone that one time and I told you, “There is nothing to forgive”.
I wasn’t saying that nothing happened, I was saying that I understand family pattern sexual abuse.
What I am struggling with now is the coverup of the past ten years.
To have you and the family blame all of my claims on my supposed mental illness has been extremely hurtful to me.
The psychiatrists I have worked with for the past ten years changed my diagnosis from manic depression to post taumatic stress over ten years ago.
I believe this is a better diagnosis and more in line with childhood sexual abuse.
I have spent the past few weeks pondering and praying to know what to do.
I truly believe my LDS therapist was right when he claimed that Uncle xxx wanted the fruits of repentance without going through the steps.
When he sent his affidaavit to me threatening to sue me if I did not shut up, I showed it to my therapist and he said that he wanted his sins washed away without going through any of the steps of repentance.
To have all of you stand publicly with him and his attempt to silence me has been the most hurtful of all during these long years of my healing.
I had great hopes that I could heal and just move on without any effort on your part to make things right.
And while it is true that I do not have the strong physical reactions of hives, asthma, allergies, and panic that have haunted me whenever I think of you or the situation, at least the symptoms are not as bad as they used to be, My great question the past few weeks has been how can I participate in the family circle without some form of honesty at play?
Unless and until I see some sort of effort on your part to walk in the truth, a very public apology for besmirching my name and character these past ten years, or some other similar outreach, I will not be party to the continued coverup of this sin in our family.
My staying silent and out of the family circle is the only form of protest I have at this point and I feel compelled to continue with this stance until something changes.
Love, Jenny
Jenny Hatch
Healthy Families Make A Healthy World!
This was Mom and Dads response…
In an email titled “Happy New Year”
They said:
Dearest Jenny:
We are so sorry you continue to face this struggle. We love you and your family and wish you every happiness.
So much happened this past year!
Your move to Utah, xxx mission call, xxx mission to Detroit, xxx birth – so much to be grateful for. All the best for the New Year.
Love,
Mom and Dad
My Brother
Everyone,
Please remove me from all future posts to this thread, and let me reiterate that I want my children also removed.
Jenny, for ignoring my request to not send further correspondence to my kids, I’ll be blocking your email address in my own email account and those of my children.
Thank you,
My Daughter responded at this point.
She was very much on the fence about doing this but with a ton of help from my daughter, who proofread what she typed and lots of encouragement from her husband and her brothers and her Dad, she went ahead and sent this out to the family.
Jun 9 at 3:47 PM
I feel the need to address some things. I have removed xxx and his family and all the younger cousins from this email.
I was not going to respond to any of this as it is not my fight but after reading these responses today I realized my lack of response could be sending a message that I agree with you all and believe my mom is crazy.
So I’m here to set a few things straight.
First of all, my mother is nothing like the man in a beautiful mind, she does not have schizophrenia, imaginary friends or hallucinations. She has been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder by multiple heath care professionals.
She is not manic.
There were also some ignorant statements said about sexual abuse. Because I don’t think some of you know this and because those who know, have never asked me about it I will share the following.
I was sexually abused by my uncle multiple times throughout my childhood until the age of 7. My sister was also sexually abused during the same timeline.
This happened multiple times up until xxx told our bishop and parents about the abuse and xxx eventually confessed and went to jail.
He lived with us for a period of time and he abused me multiple times in my bedroom at night, with ALL 3 of my siblings asleep IN the room.
My parents 10 feet across the hall bedroom doors wide open. One instance I woke up naked with him in my bed and my heart pounding at a dangerous level. I sprinted to my parents room shaking uncontrollably and fell asleep on their floor. I found my underwear and pajamas under the bed the next morning. My mom woke up to me curled under a blanket naked on her floor and found xxx asleep on our bedroom floor.
Still, she couldn’t see it.
I was also abused by xxx at the family reunion in Michigan at xxx house.
All the parents and older cousins had gone to the temple dedication?
I think?
And he molested me in broad daylight under a blanket, with multiple younger cousins in the room. I believe I was six. I ran out of the room to find someone and tell them what happened.
I don’t remember now who I ran up to I thought it was xxx but I can’t remember and something stopped me from telling.
I used to beat myself up about that so much. The abuse would have stopped a year earlier. But now after reading your responses I thank God that it didn’t come out then. I don’t even want to know what might have been said to me or done to cover it up.
I’m so grateful I have the parents I do. A mom that’s willing to do the right thing and send her own brother and best friend to jail to protect ME. Xxx told my mom later “mom if you hadn’t believed me I would have just died.”
I know the day xxx died you lost a brother, son, uncle, and friend but that was the day my life changed.
That was the first day in my life I didn’t feel afraid.
I stopped checking behind every bathroom stall when I needed to use a public restroom. I stopped having the recurring nightmare where he came back to get me.
I stopped having panic attacks every time there was a thunderstorm. I have dealt with trauma, anxiety, panic, feeling unworthy to be baptized, unworthy to enter the temple, therapy, feelings of doubt, fear of being damaged, that no one could ever love me.
Fear of having my own children and fear of being able to protect them. I know my sister has experienced all this and more. Some of you mentioned it being hard on you to deal with hearing about this and the stress it caused to your family. You. Know. Nothing.
I don’t suffer from mental illness, and if any of you doubt these claims my abuser admitted to it, even admitted later that it happened much more than he originally let on.
It is so rare for a victim to fabricate in these situations. I ask you what there would be to gain from fabricating a claim like hers?
I’m not telling you these things for you to feel bad for me.
I’ve processed, forgave and healed. I refuse to be a victim. I’m telling you so you can open your eyes.
This is a problem in our family. It seems you’ve already made up your minds so there’s really not much to say but I will say this.
The narrative you’ve created in the above emails is a dangerous one. You’ve shown what will happen if someone comes forward.
I choose to stand with my mom and any victim who has the courage to come forward, as it is the most terrifying thing in the world to do.
Your biggest fear is that no one will believe you and your responses are a textbook answer of exactly what not to do. Do some research.
Multiple studies have shown that repressed memories are real.
Children can’t process the trauma that is happening to them so as a safety mechanism the brain will bury the trauma until the person can emotionally handle it.
It’s a sign of healing and health when the brain is able to process the memory in order to move past it and heal.
I choose to stand with multiple health care professionals, psychiatrists, sexual abuse experts, church therapists and leaders whom I trust who have all confirmed that my mom was sexually assaulted as a child.
I have also received my own answers after years of pondering and asking the Lord if it’s true.
In the spirit of sharing favorite quotes l recently read The Kite Runner:
“There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft… When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness.”
I’ll add my own: “When you sexually abuse a child you steal something that is not yours to take, and they can never get it back.”
You can believe I’ve been deluded by my “crazy” mother, I honestly do not care at this point. But I know what happened to me was real. And I find it odd that none of you have ever asked me about it because xxx was around your kids, specifically at the Michigan reunion. I pray that no one else has been affected.
There’s clearly a line in the sand and I don’t know that we will ever see things the same so there’s really not much else to say but I wanted you all to know my position.
I have also not included xxx in the email as the things I talked about trigger her and xxx does not know about it. We are respecting her wishes to tell him in her own time in her own way, if she chooses.
Xxx
My brother xxx, who is an attorney, responded immediately to xxx
Dear xxx – that took great courage. I am convicted of not being sensitive to you and xxx and others who were harmed by xxx and the bad memories this must have stirred up. That was very wrong and I apologize. And I thank you for sharing – that must have been very difficult.
We were all horrified by what xxx did and we believe you – if there is anything I can do now, please let me know – with the exception of asking me to take sides against my dad. I do view the two situations quite differently.
It is a tragedy to me that this divides our families – someday hopefully this can be resolved. Love, Uncle xxx
My sister xxx responded to xxx privately and I have not seen that email, she sent this email to the whole group.
Xxx, Thank you so much for having the courage to speak up. We have needed this unpleasant conversation for too long.
For the record, everyone in our family knows about your and xxx abuse. It was one of the most horrific events in our family history when it came to light.
We were sick about it and I think I can speak for everyone when I say all of us were grateful that he was convicted and put away for that horrendous crime. We were also grateful for xxx bravery in coming forward.
I’m devastated that we have not been able to support you and xxx since that time.
The problem is, that barely a week had gone by after xxx funeral when your mom sent out her famous email accusing our Uncle of molesting her.
We were all still reeling from your abuse and xxx death. From the moment your mom sent that email about uncle, her own abuse has been the only thing she has ever wanted to talk about. And she has been clear that if anyone questions her they will be cut off.
I personally believed your mom for a long time and for years her narrative was only about evil uncle xxx. But her list of abusers kept growing and growing and soon included other uncles and many of our cousins.
I still believed but some of her other paranoid and unexplainable behavior did give me pause.
It was only a few years ago that she included my dad in her memories.
She also said I myself was abused by my dad and that she had witnessed it. Xxx I can tell you with certainty that nothing like that ever happened to me. Do you notice how she only talks about my dad right now? For a decade she obsessed about my two uncles and our cousins and her assault in the mental hospital.
But now you don’t hear anything about that, just about my dad. And please let me stress. The moment the accusations came against xxx everyone in our entire family believed it.
We supported your family. It frankly fit with things that we had noticed about xxx. That has not been the case with any of the other people that Jenny has accused.
I have never known exactly what to say to you or xxx because I am so heartbroken at the idea of getting in between you and your mother, a person that I know you love, and who I know loves you.
I’m no professional but I believe that Jenny had a break with reality when two horrific things happened:
Her beautiful little daughters were violated. Of course the only person responsible for this reprehensible act is my brother xxx.
But I imagine that Jenny felt some guilt. Our family had warned her that she shouldn’t leave her children alone with him as he was prone to drugs, alcohol and pornography addiction.
Did you know that? She became angry and defensive and said that we were the reason that xxx had all the problems he did, because we had never loved and accepted him.
She said she was going to heal him.
Not too long after that trauma, your Mom’s brother ended up dying. I believe she felt responsible for it even though of course she was not. But it was her that put him in jail and then he ended fleeing to Canada and then died of a drug overdose.
I would agree with any therapist who diagnosed Jenny with PTSD.
The trauma of knowing you ignored advice and allowed your children to be exposed to a molester would be too much for any good mother. Do you know that Jenny was molested by xxx when they were younger? She shared this with our whole family when she accused my uncle xxx.
So she knew him to be someone who didn’t respect proper sexual boundaries and yet had him babysitting her children! I promise you I’m not saying this to place blame on Jenny but I believe that it explains why she cracked when it all came out. Guilt is a terrible thing.
I had no idea that you were carrying this kind of burden xxx. Thinking that your extended family didn’t believe or didn’t care about the abuse you suffered. It couldn’t be further from the truth and I cannot believe that your mother hasn’t cleared that up for you.
Things have been so ugly between Jenny and our entire family for the last 15 years that very little healthy communication has been able to happen and all of us have been hesitant to reach out to any of you.
Please believe me when I tell you that we are not a family that blames victims and hides the truth.
To this day I don’t know exactly what happened to Jenny when she was a child. Perhaps she was molested by my uncle xxx. Maybe even by some of our cousins. But Ally there is absolutely no way that our dad did the things she says. It is incomprehensible.
Try to imagine if someone made these accusations against your own father, a man I know to be a saint. It just isn’t consistent with anything you know about him, right?
And once she started going down that path, it really made me wonder about all of her claims. I am sad that she won’t receive medication, which is why I referenced “A beautiful mind.”
The man in that story only started to get better when he would take medicine.
The movie is also instructive because it helps me to feel more compassion for Jenny. Again, imagine if this accusation were made against Paul Hatch- very upsetting, right? But Jenny truly believes these things happened to her and no conversation will convince her otherwise.
For your information, a couple of years ago Jenny and I were emailing back-and-forth and I told her that I was never abused by our dad and had never witnessed any abuse.
I told her I would be happy to tell her therapist about that. Two days later I got a call from her therapist. This woman first of all told me she didn’t appreciate being called Jenny’s therapist because she had only had two visits with her in a period of a year.
She also told me that Jenny was very excited for her to speak with me as I was going to corroborate her whole story.
Ally, I never said anything of the sort to Jenny and in fact I said just the opposite.
This and many other experiences lead me to believe that your mother has some form of delusion. And I am so sorry if that is hurtful. There is so much more that I don’t think you are aware of and I don’t want to cause you further pain.
I’m so sorry, I wish there was a way to fix this. It has caused more grief and pain than you know.
With a heavy heart, xxx
Xxx jumped out of the conversation at this point. But his wife, my sister xxx responded to Allison’s email with this:
I don’t know what to say beyond what others have said.
I never doubted that Dave molested you and xxx. I never asked you about it because your mother cut you off from the extended family during my mission and I was barely allowed to know you as you grew up.
When you both came here to help me during xxx birth, I didn’t ask you about it because it seemed a pretty invasive thing to bring up to nieces that you had barely talked to since they were toddlers.
I don’t know where you got the idea that our family didn’t believe that you had been molested. I was there in Provo with your parents at xxx and xxx apartment when your bishop called to tell them that he was at your home, xxx was drunk, and xxx had told the bishop what had been happening for years. We believed and grieved from day one.
Even if multiple health care professionals, psychiatrists, sexual abuse experts, church therapists and leaders have confirmed that your mom was sexually assaulted as a child, (which I wonder how they can confirm since they are not a court of law and have only heard one side of the story), that does not mean that that abuse occurred at the hands of my dad.
And that was what I expressed in my email. My father, the man who rocked me to sleep when I had a bad dream, gave me priesthood blessings when I was sick or had important decisions to make, listened to me drone on for hours about the latest drama at school, served during my high school years as a stake patriarch where he wouldn’t so much as get snippy with my mom because it affected his ability to feel the Spirit and give blessings- to say nothing of the last 10 years where I have lived practically next door to him, watching my little girls faces light up when Papa comes in the room – THAT man is the man she accused.
And like you, I was afraid that if I was silent, I might be sending a message that I thought her claims might be true.
I’m so sorry for all the hurt here. I would never want to hurt you or your family. I think this is a bit like flood gates bursting – I’ve been wanting to tell you and all your siblings my perspective in plain language for years.
But I didn’t want to put you in a position where you would have to draw a line in the sand that might distance you from your mother. It looks like that line is being drawn, and I don’t blame you for choosing to believe her. You know and love her. You never had the chance to know us.
I’m grateful for Heaven. Truth will out. And when that day comes, I hope Jenny will know the truth that her family loved her. I know my own heart, and wish nothing but peace, healing and happiness for each member of our family.
Xxx
From my brother xxx
Dear Family: I propose we now close the book on this chapter – we have finally read it together (or at least made it available), things needed to be said, and the issues should now be clear to everyone.
I have proposed to mom and dad that we end relations with the Hatch family on our end – for no other reasons than Jenny’s allegations are real to her, and her family’s loyalty to her is as real as my loyalty is to dad. Those two positions are incompatible.
For the Hatch family: this does not mean I do not welcome communication with any of you – I would love to get to know my extended family – each and every one of you. And I would love to have you get to know my lovely wife and kids.
But it will need to be initiated by you.
Nothing is off the table – I don’t believe in secrets and anyone who knows me can attest to that. But please let’s refrain from claiming that I or my other siblings want to silence anyone, when that really is a cover for requiring that we accept accusations without question.
If any of you happen to pass through xxx, you would be welcomed with kindness and affection in our home. If any of you have a need that I can assist with, please consider me a ready and willing resource. I wish everyone in the Hatch family the best and welcome the day when all truth is revealed. Love, xxx
My response to xxx
xxx
Send along your evidence of my insanity.
I would get a kick out of reading it!
Till we meet at Jesus feet…
Jen
His response to me:
Dear Jenny and Others:
I said no more emails on this, but as you emailed me, I will respond: the materials I have collected may be viewed in person in my presence.
Any adult family member may view them with proper coordination. This must be done in good faith with an eye toward seeking the truth and understanding the big picture, and I welcome relevant additions in order to fill in any gaps.
I welcome any additions – good or bad – that are relevant to your accusations. Please don’t send me angry or profane rants – I understand your accusations – I am welcoming relevant evidence, such as statements from others who witnessed dad doing any of these things.
If there is any hint that someone who asks to review the materials is out to destroy or change them, then I withdraw the offer.
I won’t post or copy what I have collected, as it would be too tempting to cherry-pick this or that email or letter or post to suit the needs of someone with an agenda.
It pains me to have to do this, but as you so blatantly accused dad of the worst kind of crimes, my loyalty to him and his posterity compelled me to dig into this and keep a record. And I have not called you insane – I do believe your memory is inaccurate regarding dad. As for others who may have abused you, I support you and hope you can heal and find joy. Love, xxx
From my sister xxx
All, my only concern with closing this conversation is that a lot of important things were said yesterday and the only Hatch recipients were Jenny and xxx. In the name of truth, I am begging you both to share what you learned with the rest of your family.
I don’t want to betray any confidences, particularly where xxx is concerned, but I am sick at the thought of the Hatch family continuing to believe that our family is involved in a giant cover-up of child sexual abuse.
The moment we knew about our brother xxx actions we condemned them! Please contact me if any of you would like my side of the story. You will find it is very different from Jenny’s version.
So sad about all of this- xxx
My response to xxx
xxx
What makes you think we didn’t spend the past 24 hours discussing the whole situation and the past few days having many tearful, heartfelt conversations around what to say and how and if we should respond?
The only reason I decided to try one more time to engage is simply because I believed that many people on Moms email list had never heard my claims around family pattern sexual abuse and needed to hear, from me, that I was assaulted in the most disgusting way by Dad and some of his family members.
The way you, my siblings responded, confirmed to me that some on the list have probably never heard much more than that I am struggling, but perhaps did not understand WHY I was struggling much beyond xxx molesting my kids and the associated guilt you claim “cracked” my beautiful, undrugged mind.
I feel passionate that parents have the right to know that a child molester has access to their kids.
Did xxx know about my claims around Dads abuse living with his four daughters down the street?
I never told him personally and it has eaten me alive these past few years wondering if he knew.
I never told my kids that you guys did not believe xxx molested the girls. You completely misread Allisons passionate message.
Paul said it best when he reminded all of us that email was perhaps the absolute worst form of communication, especially around such a sensitive and emotionally charged topic.
When I created the meme the other day, I was sending it out to the grandchildren, perhaps some of whom may have been molested by xxx or xxx or felt creepy feelings around certain situations or who were wondering WHY our family never connects, Have any of you ever asked your children?
xxx
My children, except for xxx, are aware of your allegations against dad. I have queried them, much to their confusion, as their association with mom and dad their entire lives has been nothing but appropriate at all times – for their entire lives. Same for me – my entire life. Always proper. Nothing like what you allege – ever. Ever.
Email is one of the worst ways to communicate about a topic like this – how curious that you chose that medium to send out to nieces and nephews something so provocative and vulgar about dad, which required a response .
I’m not sure why you chose to do that, and notwithstanding xxx rhetorical question regarding your motive – I refuse to speculate over email.
In any case, our responses addressed your allegations: none of us or our children have EVER experienced what you allege – quite to the contrary.
We rebut your claims – you apparently choose to ignore that.
Again, I understand your allegations against dad. I don’t believe them. I reject them. I will vigorously defend our father when any of you sends out something to the public, much as I expect you would do if someone accused Paul of these things.
Would you just take them at their word – or would you base your view of Paul on your experience with him?
And please don’t anyone try to school me on the need to support those afflicted by abuse – as far as I know, I am the only one who for years has put abusers in jail and had to comfort grieving victims.
Enough email – for the sake of those of us who have a loving association with dad and will continue to do so for the rest of his life, eagerly allowing him and mom to be part of our kids’ lives, please stop the narrative that we need to protect our children from him. I love him and trust him. Please leave him alone. xxx
From my Sister
xxx
Yes xxx, your email did upset me. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment and try to imagine that your sister is telling everyone that you were sexually assaulted by your father. Just think about that for a moment. xxx claiming that Paul Hatch raped you.
It didn’t happen. It’s sick and horrifying and your sister is hell-bent on convincing the world that it did. What would you do?
Re-read your paragraph about the Michigan reunion. This line in particular:
“But now after reading your responses I thank God that it didn’t come out then. I don’t even want to know what might have been said to me or done to cover it up.”
The implication is clear. Our family would rather allow a small child to be abused than expose a molester. What an awful thing to suggest. Devastating actually.
You also stated that you never accused my dad but that you firmly support your mom. You really can’t have both. All Jenny has talked about for the last several years to our family are her allegations against my father.
I have more to say and email is not the most effective means of communication. If you ever want to talk, I’m willing.
Jenny, for your information everybody in our family, extended family, and many friends know about your accusations against our father, including xxx.
My response to xxx
Xxx,
While email is the most horrifying medium of communication, I am grateful for the paper trail of conversations that have occurred over the years because I have been able to print them out and preserve them in my journals.
The many phone conversations I have had over the years with everyone, including my Dad, have left me feeling frustrated and angry that various things that I said and claimed were twisted and contorted in recollection.
It comforts me to know that everyone in the family knows about my claims regarding Dad.
In after years when he is gone and burning in spirit prison alongside his creeper brother xxx, if anyone then feels safe enough to begin the healing process, they will know that someone in the family will believe them and I formally invite anyone who has been victimized to never hesitate to reach out to me for empathy and support in the coming years.
I do not have anything else to contribute to the conversation except to point out the obvious.
Dad is the classic child molester archetype.
HYPER religious
HYPER moralistic
Gregarious and friendly to a fault, overly affectionate and touchy feely, using his priesthood and excessive religiosity as cover.
And just like fifteen years ago he has EVERYONE in the family publicly siding with him, just like you all did for Uncle xxx and I, the victim, am the bad guy. I am the one to be shushed and shamed and shut down so Dad can die in peace.
Well,
FUCK THAT!
There will be very little peace for him on the other side.
But I for one, will be dancing for joy that he is gone.
Jenny
This next email with the two attachments I sent to all of the above, minus xxx, and included several cousins in this exchange, mostly to inform my cousin xxx that I was going to share our private Facebook Conversation.
She was mortified that I did so, and I am very sorry that I upset her so badly, but I felt that I needed the juice of our conversations, which I had previously sent to my parents and xxx to bolster my final claims.
I also sent the affidavit that uncle xxx threatened me with after I accused him in 2001 after xxx died.
Jenny Hatch 06/22/17 at 7:38 AM
From Jenny to all
Dear Family,
The interactions of the past few weeks have been most illuminating.
I have had hours to ponder and think through everything that has been said.
The notion that I am the crazy one in the family has been my reality since I was 21.
Now I am approaching the age of 50 and I find this 30 year walk on the cliffs of insanity to be the most difficult part of my mortality.
Three hospitalizations for suicidal depression, one hospitalization for post partum psychosis-during which I was gang raped by four orderlies the first night in that shit hole prison (NOT helpful).
The scorn and rejection and dismissal of my memories of sexual abuse at the hands of my Dad and his brother xxx as well as a few of xxx sons has been a heavy load to bear as I have healed from all of the assaults.
I promised xxx that I would never share our Facebook conversation as it was private and although life changing for me and my husband, she did not want our interaction to be made public.
Out of sheer desperation I feel obligated to break my promise to her because our conversation is the ONLY evidence I have, except for a lifetime of symptoms of abuse, that I can use to back up my claim that I was sexually assaulted during my youth by members of our family.
I also attached the affidavit sent by Uncle xxx threatening to sue me if I did not retract my claims of being abused by him.
I remembered his assaults five years before I began to remember my Dads abuse in 2006. All of the suppressed memories began to emerge after Daves death in 2001.
I will meet you all at the judgement bar of God.
Jenny Marie Hatch
My correspondence with dxx the summer of 2010 (Nine years after xxx died and after healing for a time)
Jenny Hatch May 23 at 10:37am
xxx
I just friended you and wanted to connect. So much has happened in the past eight years since my brother xxx died. I have thought about you so many times, and wondered how you were.
It’s weird but I felt like I had to heal before I could contact you. I am definitely feeling much better, but I have been to hell and back and still am mostly out of contact with my whole family.
Give me a call sometime if you want to talk.
Love, Jenny
May 26 at 12:37pm
Thank you for contacting me – my computer only works when it feels like it so my communication is sketchy. I, too, have minimal contact with my family. I am doing okay, still fighting my demons and, most of the time, winning. I had no idea xxx died – what happened? Last I heard he was in prison…my feelings for him are so full of conflict. I have often thought of you as well, write when you can, xxx
Jenny Hatch May 26 at 6:00pm
Xxx
Not surprised no one ever told you this story. I have thought about you a million times and wanted to connect and tell you everything that has happened.
Here is just the bullet points of the story. The narrative would be too hard to outline in this little email.
March 1999 found out xxx had been molesting my daughters, now aged 21 and 18.
Called police, he went to jail here in Boulder Colorado where we lived and Paul and I tried to help our daughters heal.
Spent next year studying lots of books on sexual abuse to help girls, kept seeing me and xxx in all the books.
During that year xxx, your sister confided in my sister xxx that she had been molested by your brother xxx after his mission and she also said that you had claimed your Dad had molested you.
I made the decision to confront your Dad when I had the chance, for your sake (I had no memories of my own abuse at his hands at that point, but all year I kept saying to myself, I will do it for xxx.)
Xxx out of Jail in spring 2001, met a woman, got her pregnant, got married and probation officer told him he would not be able to raise the child because of his sex offender status.
xxx went crazy, ran away, broke his parole and on the run summer of 2001.
xxx died of drug overdose summer 2001. He was up in Canada, but through a series of events my parents brought his body down to Provo and we had the funeral there. We all gathered at your parents house in Provo for the funeral.
Your Dad made a disparaging remark about xxx when we were all talking about xxx son xxx. (Who is now eight and lives here in Boulder close to us with his mom. Xxx, his wife, was thinking about having an abortion or giving him up for adoption. I mentioned this and xxx, your brother, spoke up and said that he and his wife would “love to have the baby”. Then your Dad said that he prob. shouldn’t because it might turn out to be another xxx Tripp.
That statement triggered me. And like a volcano popping my memories started to race into my conscious mind.
I told my husband we needed to get the hell out of there and we soon left for home to Colorado.
During the past eight plus years I have remembered multiply assaults against me, Dave, my sister etc.. All involved your Dad, my Dad, Uncle xxx older boys, and I was also raped by four orderlies when I was in the mental hospital in 1989 after the birth of my first baby.
The response to my claims has been a nightmare. Your Dad threatened to sue me and made me retract publicly to the family. I checked into a mental hospital the day that affidavit arrived in the mail. I was on suicide watch for three days.
Needless to say it has been a lonely horrifying journey.
But it is what it is, and I am happy to report that I believe I am close to being on the other side of the mountain. I would be interested in hearing anything that you remember, it would comfort me just to hear it from you because after that first confirmation from xxx about xxx claims after xxx went to jail, everyone in the family has backed off and no one will talk to me about it or anything related to this topic.
My Dad raped me repeatedly from the age of seven to fourteen. Those memories have been the hardest to process.
Unfortunately xxx, you were adopted into child molesting hell. I am so glad you are alive and that we are in contact. Maybe we are old enough now to really move on with our lives and heal. I hope this email does not trigger you too bad.
Just know that anything you claim I will believe and validate with my own memories.
I love you!
jen
Nani Tripp June 1 at 4:48pm
Jen – Sorry that it has taken me this long to respond; my computer is on the fritz and my dog is very ill so i can’t leave the house except for work. Thank you so much for having the courage to write me.
We both know the insidious effects abuse has and that it cuts so much deeper than most people will ever know. I have barely spoken to my family since the 90’s and, while I have few regrets regarding my decisions to amputate them from my life, I do often feel the loss. There is much I would like to share with you – I dislike talking on the phone so I hope that writing will suffice.
After I read your email – I will admit that I was in a kind of shock and it has taken me years to admit that I have serious post traumatic stress disorder that affects my life daily.
There is so much shame, anger, humiliation, hurt and sadness wrapped up in these memories that for many years I blocked out or attempted to minimize the actual abuse; like so many others I did and still do blame myself or at least part of me believes that I deserved it. Of course I know that is erroneous and a common belief for survivors.
Jen, sometimes I don’t feel like I have survived at all. Like you I have had serious bouts of depression, suicidal tendencies, and the awful loneliness that abuse often facilitates. Unlike you I do not have a family but have been fortunate enough to have incredible friends that are the closest thing I will ever have to a real family.
I still have issues with confronting my family so please keep this between us for now.
My abuse started with Jeff when I was four and continued off and on until he went on his mission.
My abuse with my father was from about eight to sixteen. I first told my mother about jeff when I was eight but didn’t have the language to explain it but then told her about my father when I was eleven. I already had suicidal thoughts at that age and was reaching puberty too. At my school they had shown us a video talking about sexual abuse and I remember the horror of realizing that I was enduring the same thing. Wasn’t that normal for every girl? (deep down I knew it wasn’t but still) Needless to say it didn’t go too well.
My father flatly denied it, refused to talk to me for a month and it was at this point in my life that I knew I was alone and that something was very wrong with me and with them. The subject was not talked about again until my suicide attempt in 1988. I was put in a series of mental institutions and had started having prolific dreams about both jeff and my father – I confronted them both in family therapy.
This memory is one of the worst and most traumatic – I still have nightmares about it. This is when I knew that no one in my family could be trusted with the truth, that they were a danger to my life – literally and figuratively- we had become each others enemy. During that session, I confronted Heidi about Jeff and asked her if she remembered (she was only 3), she said that she did but that it was the only time she remembered and that it did not affect her in anyway. In other words, whats the big deal???
At the time I had such conflicted feelings, guilty- that I could not protect her, anger -that after being so close when we were younger, she had become their accomplice. She emphatically believed that I was crazy and a liar. Now that I am older, I don’t blame her but wish that this didn’t have to tear us apart. I have never broached the subject again with her.
For many years my father continued to try and have some kind of control over me. He would just randomly show up at places he thought I was or would harass my friends and employers for information about my I was.
To constantly be on the move and not let my family know where I was was difficult,I loved my mother but she was always on his side and if she knew where I was, he knew where I was. Every time he would show up I would revert to being a little girl again and loathe myself after wards for months. Looking back I realize that my father had always “stalked” me, even in our own house. As a result I am very paranoid about my privacy and constantly looking over my shoulder.
When my mother was dying I went to see her; it was the last time I saw my father before he died. It, true to form, added a new trauma to the litany. For a few days he was nice to me and fairly respectful.
Now I know that it was to just put me off my guard so that he could take advantage me later. One thing I do when I am overwhelmed is block stuff out. It has been a survival tool but is very frustrating when I am actually trying to remember things. I remember him telling me that you had accused the Tripp men of being child molesters and wanted me to sign a paper saying that he had never abused me and jeff too.
The messed up part is that jeff and him cornered me, literally, in a separate room (my friend was with me) and proceeded to admit that they had and that it had really only happened a couple of times but that I should sign this affidavit anyways. I honestly don’t remember if I did; it has tortured me for years. I didn’t know all that stuff about you of course. In addition my mother asked me if it was true about my father.
My father must have known she was going to ask me because he begged me to lie to her and then never would let me be with her alone. Jen I did lie to her – I honestly don’t think she believed me but it broke my heart to think that she had struggled with it for so many years. I have tremendous guilt regarding her and anger too for her not protecting me. It surprised but I was also appalled that she still thought about it, because in my mind she had blown it off.
I need to go but one last thing, I really hope that it isn’t true that Heidi was abused by Jeff after his mission – are you sure about this? Jeff tried to sleep with me after his mission when he was living in my grandparents basement – That was the last time I ever let him touch me. Ironically he has been the only family member to communicate with me regularly. I think this is out of guilt and out of this misguided belief that we are both the “black sheep”; I strongly believe his addiction problems are a result of denying all this crap. Please keep writing, I would like to share more with you but right now this is enough. Thinking of you, stay strong, love, Nani
Jenny Hatch June 1 at 6:38pm
Nani,
I’m bawling. Shaking. Feel so overwhelmed. You have no idea how much this helps me.
When Dave died my whole family claimed that the shock of him molesting my girls and then dying threw me into Psychosis, a disconnect with reality that has never really healed. Funny, but they were OK with me as long as I didn’t talk about the abuse, but over the past eight years as memory after memory came up, each one more horrifying than the last, I felt that I had to address it. And each time I did, someone in the family claimed I was “going psychotic” again.
I confronted my brother Jim with this, that I was mentally “well” as long as I did not talk about sexual abuse, but was in raging psychosis if I brought it up. He never responded to me.
Yes, I absolutely do remember Lisa saying that Heidi had told her that Jeff Raped her after his mission. Absolutely, undeniably. I got in several fights with my husband about it. He felt that if your Dad had molested you and Jeff had Raped Heidi that it was YOUR BUSINESS to confront them, NOT MINE.
So, all that year as I watched my girls heal, literally, they had both been molested by Dave from the time they were toddlers, and when the truth came out, Allison was 7 and Michelle was 11, as I watched them transform before my eyes I think it did something to me really deep in my heart to watch that healing first hand.
My daughters have been my greatest strength these past eight years. I asked Michelle one time how she would have felt if when she told us about Dave, if Paul and I had told her she was lying and it never happened (And I can promise you, I was tempted to do just that), she said “I would have died”. And she totally got it.
I am so glad you have friends who can be family for you. But I hope you can feel like you have family in me. I really think what happened with Heidi was that she witnessed a molester being put in jail, and then felt like it was “safe” to tell someone in the family about her assault. So she told Lisa.
But as soon as Lisa and Heidi witnessed the blowback on me, and perhaps even on you with threats, menacing, and everyone calling us crazy, she just felt that she was not strong enough to stand up for herself.
I know what you mean about being stalked in your own home. My dad molested me for the first time when my Mom was in the hospital giving birth to my sister xxx, I was seven, and then the whole next year he stalked me, waiting and watching for an opportunity to hit, and it came on Dec 23rd, a few weeks before my 8th birthday. He raped me….then a few weeks later baptized me.
Talk about confusion and chaos.
As for your Mother, one memory stands out in my mind. We traveled to Utah for a family reunion in 2000. xxx was in jail and we all gathered at a hotel for a meal. Your Mom was in her little scooter and she just whizzed over to me and got right in my face and asked me if xxx “raped” the girls. I said, no, he did inappropriate touching. She didn’t say anything, and I don’t know what the significance of it was to her, but it was an important question.
I believe she probably did believe your claims, just as I believe my own mother believes my claims. They just didn’t have the courage to stand in the truth, and for my Mom, still doesn’t.
I also hate talking on the phone, so email works great.
This corroboration helps me so much, you have no idea. Even being married and a mother to my children, the ache I feel for my mother and my sisters is just so overwhelming, I sometimes feel absolutely consumed by lonliness.
Ironically xxx Wife xxx is one of my best friends right now. She is also a sexual abuse survivor and a thirteen year sober alcoholic.
She has done so much research and reading about abuse and lived through her own family nightmare, that she has provided a rock of support for me as I have healed. I have not shared all of the gory details of the abuse with her, actually only God knows the depths of the abuse and what it did to me, I stopped going to therapy a few years ago, couldn’t afford it, and I felt like I could make better progress just working through everything on my own. We spent alot of money in the beginning and the people I worked with were awesome.
My belief about all of this is that right now some of my siblings are probably molesting their own kids and that is why they cannot accept my claims.
xxx and I have talked about this and what we have decided is that we want to be available to the next generation of Tripps, that if any of them claim at some point to have been sexually abused, they will be able to come to us for loving support. I hope this is what happens, because I don’t know that my siblings have the strength to heal with all of the rejection they have shoved on me. It is so much tidier to have the Jenny is crazy meme as the narrative rather than we have a family abuse problem that is generational.
Don’t feel like you have to respond right away, I did because I had a few minutes free time tonight, but it might be better to slowly share…I’m still shaking. (not a bad shaking, just relief)
Love, Jen
Jenny Hatch June 10 at 8:23am
xxx
I couldn’t wait for you to respond to tell you about the miracle we have had this past week.
First, I forgot to mention before that I am so sorry about your Dog. If our dog was sick or dying, a huge part of me would be dying too.
Now for the good news.
Paul has been on the fence for eight years about whether or not I am a sexual abuse survivor. Five years ago I started remembering junk about my Dad and when I told him, he literally fell down on the floor and started shaking and just said over and over, “jen, you CAN’T accuse your Dad”.
At that point the rejection and emotion around the whole thing was so overwhelming to rev it up a notch was just something he could not face. I literally felt the memories retreat into the back of my mind after his meltdown. If you have studied anything about sexual abuse, you know that survivors are often attracted to each other, and I strongly suspect that someone along the way molested Paul. He has suffered with anxiety disorder for his whole adult life and has panic attacks that leave him completely immobilized for days.
I often joke that he and I should sign up to be the poster children for mental illness. We are both into alternative healing so outside of that first year when I was court ordered to eat psychiatric meds I have not taken one pill in over twenty years. He got a prescription for Xanax years ago, but only took a pill now and again when he was really bad. Mostly we use nutrition and herbs/oils to help us with our issues.
Anyway, a year after the initial memories started to pop up about my Dad, and this would be four years ago, they once again came back and he was more emotionally ready for me to tell him about them.
As each memory surfaced and I found myself horrified by what truly happened, I found it impossible to connect with my family, so over the past four years the contacts have been less and less until finally, I just stopped communicating. As stated before, being cut off from my sisters and my Mom has been the most chilling side to the whole episode.
But here in our home, while Paul realized I was in incredible emotional pain and experiencing horrifying physical symptoms (mostly I would break out in hives all over my body and have unrelenting panic attacks), he knew that whatever was the source of my pain was real, even if my claims about what was wrong with me were unbelievable to him.
I was also dealing with the side effects of some other things I have been going through during this same time and it all just caused this huge emotional and physical storm of disease.
Anyway, when it all started eight, almost nine years ago, when xxx died, Paul’s attitude was, “we are going to do whatever it takes to get you better.”
And he has been so amazingly supportive. But there was always this caution, that all of it was just “mental illness” and a part of him always held back in total and complete support. Especially when I talked about the assaults by my Dad, you have to remember, my Dad is a patriarch in the church, he was a respected business man in Detroit, people would say he was the only honest insurance salesman they ever knew, etc etc… So Paul felt like my claims could not stand up to my Dads reputation.
Anyway, over the past few days since I read him a portion of your email, he has exhibited a huge change in his behavior towards me and in his own personal habits. I did not read him the whole thing, just the part about you lying to your Mother about the assaults. While you may think that your Dad asked you to lie for your Mothers sake, I think he asked you to lie for the whole extended families sake.
When I first started remembering things I sent out an email to EVERYONE – Uncle xxx kids, all my siblings, your sibs etc.. and it was that email that your Dad made me retract with his affidavit and threats.
In the weeks and months after that initial eruption, I was in contact with my Dad while he was staying at your parents house – he and my Mom were lined up to go to Nigeria for an LDS mission and we had lots of emails going back and forth and we had many “fights” about you and your Dad being a molester. I have printed out and saved all of these emails so that if you ever want to read them they are available. A few years later when your Mom was dying my Dad was talking to my husband about my supposed “mental condition” and he told xxx about your retraction. As he said it, “xxx told xxx before she died that she made it all up”.
Now from that day to this past week, Paul has had NOTHING buy my own signs of distress and memories to back up my claims about being abused. No one in the family has ever contacted him with any additional information, people absolutely refuse to talk to us about it, and he has just been going on faith. He also has paid all of my medical bills, my alternative healing bills – which have been significant, and he has stood by me in my distress despite not having full knowledge of what was true or not.
My Dad telling him about your lie was such a blow to everything that I had claimed that for years all of it has just been a big wedge in our relationship. Please PLEASE xxx, do not assume that I blame you in any way for telling that lie. I understand, I totally get it, and I in no way am angry or upset with you. Just know that it was what my whole family has been holding on to for these many years.
As I said, when I read that part of your email to Paul his face softened, and literally the lines of weariness melted away – he has gone completely grey these past few years, and he just said, “yes, I remember your Dad telling us about xxx lying”
And EVERYTHING changed.
In an instant, it wasn’t just me alone, it wasn’t just me freaking out, it wasn’t just me making things up to get attention or whatever crazy stuff has been said about me, I had a second person to back up my story and my claims. I had a second witness who was not only told to lie, but was COERCED to lie. Was bullied into lying, was manipulated and threatened and pushed to lie.
It changed EVERYTHING. I can’t tell you how strongly this has affected me and how much I appreciate it. I will love you forever for what you have handed me.
You literally gave me the trust of my husband back. This past week he started exercising for the first time in nine years. He has been happier, more relaxed, more affectionate, and everything is just different.
It has taken our relationship from “my wife is mentally ill, everyone except her therapists believe she is nuts, and I’m not sure where I fit in this whole situation” to “my wife was sexually assaulted by her father and uncles, she was traumetized and they have treated her like dirt”
Don’t you see how it changes everything?
Anyway, I just had to tell you, because I feel like it is a new day in my life and in our relationship, and I’m just amazed how easily it was accomplished.
Please have a great day and know how grateful I am for that one little line in your email. “Jen, I did lie.” I have been particularly suicidal these past few months, not that I ever think I would do it, just wanting to die, asking the Lord to let me die, and so much physical distress, not sure if I could go one more day with my husband thinking I was “just crazy.”
If you are ever within five hundred miles of Colorado come stay with us for as long as you want to stay, hell, come live out here by us…it would be great to have another family member close by who is willing to stand strong in the truth.
love, Jen
June 10 at 10:48pm
Jen, I have been in a kind of torpor since you wrote me last. I have wanted to respond. Thank you for having the courage to write me. I am often paralyzed or manic in my reaction to trauma; sleep does not come easy. For almost fifteen years I believed their spiel; there is something wrong with me, that I am crazy.
So, of course, I took the requisite medications, saw the appropriate therapists – in short believed I was mentally ill.
For years I had, finally, accepted the fact I was abused but it wasn’t until my mother’s funeral that I was aware of all the manipulation, coercion and, yes, seduction that imbued every interaction that occurred – I was in shock. It has tortured me for years that my father may have used me for nefarious intentions; now I know he was! Thank you for validating the fact that he was a manipulative ass!
It broke my heart to read this and I cried and at the same time am grateful – that this has benefited you in some way. If anything good comes out of this cesspool of anger, sadness, and the worst of all…loneliness, then thank you for sharing that with me.
Please feel free to share our correspondence with your husband; I know this is beneficial to us all on some level.
For me, this sojourn has jolted me into knowing, I have known for a while that I need help; I have the most amazing friends and life and yet I cannot overcome these nightmares! Like you I don’t believe in medication, it only made me a zombie – I haven’t taken any medication for over seven years because (as you know!) I wasn’t crazy – just hurt and a bit damaged.
I do believe in therapy though and, for too long, have used my friends as receptacles. As a result of our communication I have contacted a therapist and, for the first time in years, have hope that I can move beyond this. Jen, I am so tired – I know you know what I mean. I try to negate the damage done so many years ago and at the same time live my life on my own terms; its a constant battle. thank you, xxx
June 10 at 11:31pm
One last thing that I want to say – I can not convey the outrage, despair and sadness that I felt when you told me my father used that information against you – the fact that his lies have affected you, me and your family, my sister and untold others is appalling.
I do blame myself because I knew I should not have lied, that I was only saving myself and my father’s conscience – so selfish. I am so sorry that it affected you in such an insidious and personal way. I know I am not to blame but I am so sorry and I dream of a day we can be free of this. I know we deserve it, much love, xxx
June 10 at 11:53pm
okay last thought, I have been rereading these and thank you for that gift of telling me about your husband. The fact that ANY good can come out of this gives me hope.
Jenny Hatch June 11 at 6:33am
Xxx
Like I told you in that first email, for some reason, even though I wanted to contact you for the past eight years, and even googled your name a few times to try to find you, something held me back.
I’m not quite sure what it was, but when xxx, xxx wife friended me on facebook a couple of weeks ago, she and I were close friends in high school, when she asked me to be her friend, I thought what the heck? So I said yes, even though many of my family has friended me and I’ve just ignored them. One day I was skimming through her friend list to see if any of our old high school gang was on facebook and I saw your name and it jolted me.
For a few days I went back and forth over whether or not I was ready to contact you, and I just had this feeling that it was important to reach out.
I was not sure if you would respond or what would be the outcome, some in the family have claimed you were living as a lesbian in the east (and for the record, I will not judge any lifestyle choice you have made if that is the truth. I totally get homosexuality and have actually felt those desires well up in my heart once in a while over the years) and I did not know if you were open to a conversation about these gut wrenching topics of abuse and the truth of what we suffered.
As I said, I think it is time for both of us to put the past behind us and move on and create as happy and beautiful lives for ourselves as possible.
I don’t know if you know anything about our grandfather Tripp, my Dad’s father, but he was a confirmed child molester, my dad told me years ago that he was even arrested a couple times for it, but never did jail or prison time, it was a different world back then.
Anyway, I have had spiritual confirmation that this family pattern sexual abuse goes back in our family line for many generations and that one of my life’s missions was to be a chain breaker and that I was sent down to this family at this time to help break the pattern of abuse and start the healing process for all of us.
I hope you can have that same sense of purpose, so many of our extended family live in pain every day. Not everyone is married to someone like Paul, who has been so loving and patient, who made enough money to pay for all of the alternative healing, who lives in a mecca like Boulder where so many wonderful healers practice.
My favorite therapist is a homeopath who specializes in sexual abuse and uses massage therapy and other natural things to help heal. She helped me so much, and was even willing to come to my house one time and work on me in my bedroom for two hours when I was so sick I could not move.
Our willingness to be the canaries in the coal mine with outward symptoms of mental illness and courage to make claims despite fears of being killed or beat up or silenced in some other way is so powerful to our siblings. (Your dad was assaulting my sister xxx one time at your Michigan house when I was three and I walked in and saw what he was doing and he told me that if I told anyone he was going to kill me and then kill xxx).
That very real fear of death, being murdered for speaking, was such a part of my psyche for so many years, to have overcome it these past few years has really been powerful. In a way blogging has been so cathartic for me because it gave me a voice during a time when I felt that I was being hushed and told to shut up by the family. I started a radio show on blog talk radio and it also has felt so good to just speak my truth. I do have my abusers to thank for toughening me up and helping me to develop sides to my personality that have served me well in terms of strength and not being afraid of anything.
Not that I would wish the psychological pain I have suffered on anyone, but I do try to look at the positives that have come from being a survivor.
I’m glad you are going to work with a therapist, I used to hate psychiatry because I had it all thrust upon me when I was 21 and some of those doctors were such pompous asses, but when I started to recover my memories 9 years ago I was guided to a few therapists who saved the day simply because they believed me and validated me. The book by Laura Davis, The courage to heal workbook http://www.amazon.com/Courage-Heal-Workbook-Survivors-Sexual/dp/0060964375 was given to me by one of my therapists and it was a POWERFUL tool to help me in the early days of recovery when It felt like I was losing my mind.
The most powerful thing she taught me in that book is that when the memories start to come up, it is a sign of HEALTH, because it is the body and mind saying to the person, there is some strength here, strength enough to face the truth, strength to fix the broken places in the cells of the body, and strength to rebuild.
I also was helped significantly by the work of Dr Bob Scaer who practices here in Boulder. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3742165246830785946#
He taught me that post partum psychosis is tied to father/daughter rape. I have not worked with him personally, just watched his video, but when Paul and I watched it a few months ago, it also was a powerful witness of the truth.
Please let me know how it goes as you work with the therapist, I like to think that one day we will both look back, a little battle scarred and bruised, but whole and strong and happy as a powerful witness to anyone else in our family who also decides to take the risk to heal and overcomes the temptation to continue participating in the family psychosis. I like to think that we can be there for them, whoever it ends up being (Sibling, niece, nephew, etc etc), and help smooth the way and make things easier for them than it was for us with the lonliness etc…
Love you so much!
Jen
The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
http://www.amazon.com
In this groundbreaking companion to The Courage to Heal, Laura Davis offers an inspiring, in-depth workbook that speaks to all women and men healing from the effects of child sexual abuse. The combination of checklists, writing and art Projects, open-ended questions and activities expertly guides th…
June 27 at 10:31pm
Hi Jen – I have reread our correspondence many times and, honestly, it is more disturbing each time i read them. the only thing that makes me feel better is your response and gratitude, thank you. all of this has made me confront how much this has affected me, the recurring shame, guilt, and for me the hardest of all – the weakness and powerlessness i feel for not being able to overcome it.
but i have known since i was young that you can only live inside truth, not outside or you end up living a half-life. i don’t know where this journey will take me, take us – but please know that i do believe everything you have told me and the information you have shared with me, while seriously worse than i could of ever imagined, has given me a modicum of respite from this storm.
i do feel less alone, crazy and well, crazy. thank you for enabling me to share this with you, with myself too really.
remember in my email about my mother i told you that a friend was with me when my father and brother cornered me. well she is one of my oldest friends, i have known her since i was eleven and we have been basically sisters since then. her name is xxx and she is not my partner, she’s straight, but we live together in philadelphia; she used to live in salt lake city while i lived in albuquerque. we would often visit each other and she was totally there for me when my mother was dying.
we were pretty much at each others houses every weekend until i tried to kill my self in ’88 – so she knew how dysfunctional our family was; she always hated my father and had serious issues with my sister and mother – but you know, i don’t know why but i never told her about any of the sexual abuse – she knew my father would get physical and my mother was mostly absent and broken but i could never bring myself to tell her. in fact the first person i told about xxx, other than my mother when i was eight or so, was xxx and then my first girlfriend, xxx. but i never told anyone about my father, again except my mother, until i was sixteen. i have many reasons for this and maybe one day we can talk about our fathers together.
anyways, she was there and although i did not know it at the time she witnessed most of the coercion put upon me by my father and brother regarding you and my mother. we really still have never talked about it because it is so painful for both of us but i remember her horror and sadness when she hinted that she had overheard my father admitting he had molested me. one thing about abuse is that it affects everyone around us – your husband and children, family and friends. amy is no exception – she feels immense guilt that she let them take me into the bedroom alone. but i have never and never would blame her – she was as in shock and paralyzed as i was.
the reason i am telling you this is that i have shared some of our correspondence with her and we both cried when we read you email about your husband. she has expressed the desire to connect with you as well and share with you her experience that awful, awful, awful ad nausea, day. i felt that i should ask you if it is okay if she writes you – i hope you are well, something i tell myself often to make me feel better is, “don’t let the bastards get you down!” – much love, xxx
p.s. i am a big oprah fan and while i don’t watch her program regularly i know people who do. she is also a survivor and has this theory of “sexual seduction” instead of “sexual abuse”. do you know anything about this? i have not been able to watch the episode or read about it yet but i thought you might be interested. from what xxx has told me it is worth checking out
Jenny Hatch June 30 at 6:24pm
xxx
I would love to hear from xxx, please give her my personal email, JennyMHatch@Yahoo.com.
I believe it is very important that you have a witness who heard your Dad admit he molested you.
I never experienced a sexual seduction with any of my abusers, unless if you want to include one incident when I was nine, when xxx tried to have sex with me. I always remembered that situation and always blamed myself for it.
My initial assaults took place when I was a pre verbal baby and I would just “check out”, even leaving my body if the abuse was so horrifying that I could not stand it. I realize now these out of body moments saved my life. Mostly I just tucked the memories back in my brain to be dealt with at a much later, safer time.
During my twenties when I was plagued with mental illness, I felt so confused about my life. I would think, “I’ve married this great guy, I’m strong in the church, I’m not caught up in addictions and criminality like xxx, why am I so depressed, and WHY oh WHY did I go psychotic after the birth of my first child?
Nothing fit. But I kept studying, kept learning, kept on trying to figure things out, and when the memories started to pop up after xxx Died, finally I was able to reconcile so many things that did not make sense. Father Daughter rape is almost ALWAYS the cause of post partum psychosis.
As for the paralysis that xxx felt around your Dad. Share this with her. When we arrived at your Dads house for the funeral I had told myself over and over that I would confront him to his face in front of everyone if I saw him doing anything inappropriate.
My son xxx was 7 when we showed up and one night your Dad offered to take us all to get ice cream. xxx ran up to me and said, Mom, can I ride with Uncle xxx to the ice cream shop?, I felt this thick paralysis come over me and just nodded yes, and as Paul and I drove behind his car to the shop, I just felt this sickening, “he’s got my son in his car”….but I didn’t have the courage to say no.
Then later that night we were all talking and Jeff was by him and he had his hand on xxx butt and was rubbing it in this circular motion with this totally goobed out look on his face, and again, paralysis. I could not move. I could not act. I was absolutely still. That night in our hotel room, I was kicking myself that I could not confront him.
And I felt so guilty, like I just could not protect my children from molestors. I told my husband what was going on with xxx stalking our son, and the next day we all gathered at the hotel where we were all staying and again, xxx was being “groomed” by your Dad, and my husband quickly went into the room, yanked xxx off his lap, and brought him into our room. We left the next morning.
I understand the paralysis and the terror. It is very real. I believe your dad was capable of murder and I think we were all just trying to preserve our lives around a very very dangerous person.
Nothing to be ashamed about. Its just what it was.
yes, we have much still to talk about and many issues to cover, but we have time to work it all out and I am just so glad that we can now do it together and that I am not alone.
Thanks so much.
Love, jen
Nanis response to my sharing:
06/25/17 at 8:36 AM
Please stop emailing me -I trusted you and you broke that trust Jenny- by doing this you have damaged me in ways that you should know but obviously are so selfish you are blinded by your own story regardless of anyone else. I so so regret sharing any of this with you. I cannot believe how many times you have betrayed my trust!
My response to xxx: (xxx Tripp was adopted by my Dad’s brother xxx Tripp from Korea when she was two years old. She also has a checkered mental health history, suicidal attempts, and was most helpful to me in 2010
06/25/17 at 8:51 AM
Fuck off…
xxx responded to my email with these words and the denial he had recorded from my Father. I was very grateful to get this denial as I had never seen it.
My brother
Dear Family: As promised, I will respond to any public accusations against my dad, Richard Tripp. If you are tired of reading about all this, then please just delete Jenny’s emails and my responses.
Jenny: Please stop sending emails on this. I expect everyone who received your email is aware of your accusations against dad. The matters you attached to your email do not support your accusations. There is nothing in xxx communication that indicates she has any independent knowledge of our dad. Uncle Paul’s response to your accusations was not, in my view, any evidence of a guilty conscience.
To the contrary, they were the actions of a man who knew the power of accusations and the enduring nature of written documents, and likely reflected his frustration at the thought of being defined in this way as a person.
He denied your accusations. I apologize if any of the matters that follow upset you – you might consider just not reading the rest of this email, as I have no desire to cause you distress. I love you. I love your family and wish them only the best. I believe your accusations are inaccurate. I regret that your children do not know our sweet parents, who are among the best people I have had the privilege to know. I pray that you find the answers you seek in this life.
The response that follows is directed to all of the unfortunate recipients of your email.
Dearest Family:
our family continues to be torn apart by my sister Jenny’s allegations against our dad. Most of us categorically deny her accusations – all of them. We also rebut her assertion that we have been scornful toward her. I have collected most of the written material associated with her claims – any family member who is in good faith seeking the full picture may see these matters in my home and draw their own conclusion. What will become apparent immediately is that there has been no hateful rhetoric or angry response. There has been disagreement, but that is almost always accompanied by heartfelt compassion for Jenny’s and her family’s situation.
If there has been any inartful language used, from the context it is clear that the person responding was exasperated with such explosive, often profane accusations made with no corroborating evidence and only vague generalities.
Jenny continues with her false accusation that we all consider her “insane” – an inexact term at best. For reasons known (or unknown) only to her, she has chosen to define herself by accusations of sexual abuse at the hands of our father. While she may not portray herself this way to others – it has dominated every interaction I have had with her for over 15 years.
The science on recovered memories has largely been discredited – don’t take my word for it – research the matter for yourself. Human beings have the capacity to literally talk themselves into a belief – with the resultant physical and mental effects associated with such a memory.
One item I will share is the statement my dad wrote on the matter a few years ago. It is attached – I have the signed copy in my files.
As for xxx Tripp’s Facebook exchange with Jenny: I reached out to xxx a few years ago, seeking any information she had on Jenny’s allegations against my dad. xxx never responded. I am still interested in any information anyone has regarding Jenny’s allegations. I asked Jenny in 2013 for a breakdown of specific information on her accusations against our dad, and for the names of those who could corroborate any of that information. She referenced our sisters, and some neighbor friends. I contacted our sisters about the allegations, as well as the neighbor friends. All completely rebutted the accusations.
So we are left with the following: Jenny has accused our father of the worst kinds of crimes, with no way to corroborate the accusations. Our father denies all of her accusations, and we are left to decide who to believe, taking into consideration our own experiences in our home growing up and the life he has lived, balanced against her life.
I have decided my dad is telling the truth and that Jenny’s memories about him are inaccurate, even if believed deeply by her. My beliefs are reflected by my life choices with regard to my relationship with my parents: my family with our two small boys lived with them for 6 weeks following law school; they stayed with us in California; they stayed with us when we had 3 small children in Germany, living in our home for months at a time; they came to our home virtually every weekend for 2 years when we lived in Korea with our, by that time, 4 children; and we visited them and stayed in their home in St Louis on multiple occasions.
My father behaved completely appropriately at all times – consistent with my entire association with him.
I grew up close in age and proximity to Jenny and have first-person account of my dad’s behavior all the while during my childhood. My dad was not perfect – but I never saw or heard him do anything inappropriately sexual with anyone – ever. EVER.
To the contrary, he was a spiritual man who could be driven to distraction and anger, given the realities of a home with 8 children, but on balance an excellent example of a true follower of Jesus Christ, both in word and deed.
Accordingly, I will defend him vigorously – especially in our current environment where we are admonished to simply believe accusers (notwithstanding the basic premise in our law that a person is innocent until proven guilty, or the 9th commandment).
For those who read this email, I pray none of you have to face these kinds of allegations.
To the cousins/nieces/nephews: my parents are willing to discuss these matters – if you have questions, please contact them directly. I also have nothing to hide – everything is on the table – if someone has information about sexual abuse committed by Richard Tripp, please let me know.
Finally, I must counter the false allegation by Jenny and at least one of her children that we will try to hide evidence of abuse or silence victims. I am a criminal prosecutor.
If anyone has been abused or is being abused, feel free to call me for advice on how to get help. Sexual abuse is a crime – those who commit it are criminals and should go to jail, just as my brother xxx did. When xxx actions came to light, we were horrified.
We believed the accusations, mainly because Dave himself confessed. For those looking for vengeance, consider that Dave went to prison for his crimes, and then died alone, on the run, of a drug overdose, divorced 3 times, and excommunicated from the church. What more would someone want?
His allegations were not hidden – when they came to light, action was taken. We supported it. And it will be the same with other credible accusations.
Best Regards,
xxx
My Dads Statement:
Statement of Richard Graham Tripp
St. Louis, Missouri
My Dear Family:
I am writing this statement to clarify for any who may have doubts about my
character and the way I have treated my children since their birth. I have loved them
and cherished them. My greatest desire in life has been to be married and have a
family.
Having raised eight children is one of the principal accomplishments of my life.
I have never sexually abused any of my children, contrary to the allegations of
my daughter, Jenny Marie Hatch. The history of Jenny’s allegations against me and
others are, I believe, rooted in her bouts with mental illness.
To put my views on her
allegations in context, I will briefly review our family’s history with Jenny.
Jenny and her husband Paul moved from Michigan to Ohio shortly after Michelle,
their first child, was born. I recall that Jenny phoned us not long after the move and told
us she had read a book about the danger plastics pose to human health. She said she
had thrown out most things made of plastic in her home. We noticed during the
following years that this became a pattern for her: what Jenny read had a great impact
on her.
At that time in Ohio, Jenny was also apparently studying the Book of Revelation
in the New Testament and about the Second Coming of Jesus Christ in general. On
Tuesday evening, March 21, 1989, her husband called us in a panic about her being on
the streets of Yellow Springs, Ohio in her underwear staring at the sun. A female police
officer had brought her home. We left early the next morning and drove to Ohio to help
in any way we could. When we arrived, Jenny told us that she was going to get
pregnant and bear the child that would be the prophet to welcome the Savior’s Second
Coming.
In concert with her husband’s desires, we drove her back to Royal Oak, Michigan
and arrived at William Beaumont Hospital about 8:00 pm on March 22, 1989. We
hoped she could get some competent medical help in their psychiatric unit. On the trip
north she kept looking at the sun and asking me if we were going to the temple. I told
her we were going to the temple in the hope that it would calm her down.
At the hospital we were met by a good friend, Dr. Carl Samberg, who had treated
Jenny years earlier for scoliosis. In the waiting room, Jenny sat in a wheel chair and
began to sing at the top of her voice the hymn, “The Spirit of God like a Fire Is Burning.”
As I recall she sang multiple verses. After a few minutes she collapsed and slid out of
the chair. She was placed on a gurney and wheeled into a separate room and then
Statement of Richard Graham Tripp
Page 2 of 4
asked to sign a voluntary admission form to the hospital. She refused to sign. I went
into the room, put my arm around her and said, “Jen, we need you to sign this form.”
She took the pen and forcefully threw it across the room. She was later wheeled out
into the waiting room. She sat up in the gurney and began to take her clothes off.
The
hospital personnel rushed to her gurney, strapped her down in four point restraints, and
wheeled her off to another part of the hospital.
All of us, including Dr. Samberg, were incredulous that her admission was
dependent upon her signature. It was obvious to all of us that she was very sick and
disassociated from reality. To our dismay, the hospital said we had only two choices:
because Jenny refused to admit herself into the hospital, she could either be released to
our care, or sent to Clinton Valley Center, a state psychiatric hospital in Pontiac,
Michigan.
We agonized over this decision. We were trying to deal with a situation about
which we knew practically nothing and for which we were unprepared. From what the
doctors told us, some women become psychotic after having a baby and some even kill
their own baby, so we could not countenance bringing Jenny into our home while little
Michelle was staying with us. Her husband, Paul Hatch, and Carolyn and I decided the
best course of action was for Jenny to go to Clinton Valley where she could be treated.
Jenny was transferred to Clinton Valley and, as allowed by the hospital, we
visited her. The hospital apparently involuntarily medicated her and during our first few
visits she seemed quite normal.
However, after a few days she refused to take
medication and on one occasion during a visit she told me she saw Satan sitting in a car
in the parking lot. She refused to drink from a plastic cup so we brought her some
paper cups. She also found two fellow female inmates at the hospital that she wanted
to introduce to her brothers as potential girlfriends for them.
These statements to me
were evidence that Jenny truly was having delusions.
Jenny began to read a pamphlet on patients’ rights provided by the hospital. For
us this represented another example of Jenny becoming what she had read. She had a
court date to go before a psychiatric judge, who would determine whether she would be
released or remain at Clinton Valley.
Jenny refused to accept a court appointed
attorney and said she would represent herself. We were present at the hearing. The
judge listened to her for a few minutes and then said, “This is not Perry Mason.”
He
ordered her held at Clinton Valley, where again she was apparently involuntarily
medicated.
During her stay at Clinton Valley, her husband arranged for her to be transferred
to Havenwyck hospital, a private psychiatric hospital in Auburn Hills, Michigan. There
Statement of Richard Graham Tripp
Page 3 of 4
she seemed more amenable to treatment and met with a psychiatrist. However, within
a short time she again refused any further medication and was sent back to Clinton
Valley, where she was again medicated without her consent. Later she did return to
Havenwyck. All together she spent a little over a month at Clinton Valley and
Havenwyck.
During that time, we learned as much as we could about Jenny’s disorder. The
doctors told us she had suffered a severe post-partum psychosis. We began to notice
patterns of behavior in our daughter described in the literature and videos we were
studying. At one point in a conversation with Jenny, she said to me regarding her
thoughts, “Dad, they are so real!” I don’t doubt they were real to her, but it was my
perception and the perception of others around her that her thoughts and beliefs were
false. Still, we had great hopes that things would be better when she was released.
My wife Carolyn took care of little Michelle during the time that Jenny was in the
hospital.
On May 2, 1989 Jenny was released from the hospital and returned to our home.
She, Paul and Michelle lived with us for a while. Paul would commute to work in Ohio
during this time. We all then made the decision to have Jenny go with him to see how
she would do on her own.
Michelle stayed with us at first. Once it seemed Jenny would
be okay, they all moved back to Ohio, although my wife, Carolyn would often travel to
be with them at their request. Carolyn would go to their home to help with housework
and to help care for Michelle.
My experience with Jenny in the intervening years between her initial mental
breakdown and today indicates to me that she has slipped in and out of mental illness.
The majority of those who know her best also know that this is a true statement. At
times she is lucid and most reasonable. At other times she is clearly delusional.
Recently she has accused me of sexually molesting her on multiple occasions. I
deny her allegations. I know I have never abused or done anything sexually
inappropriate with Jenny or any other of my children or grandchildren.
Although my wife and I have considered having a face-to-face discussion with
Jenny regarding her accusations, and have even gone so far as to invite her to such a
discussion (she initially accepted but then declined), we realize now that that would
serve no purpose. Nor do we believe suing or disowning Jenny is the answer.
Nevertheless, for the purpose of making my position clear to my posterity and
those who know me, I decided to write this statement. I also want to include my view of
this whole situation from a spiritual perspective.
Statement of Richard Graham Tripp
Page 4 of 4
I am a person of faith. I believe all things happen for a reason, yet I do not claim
to know the reasons why some things happen. I do not know why my daughter carries
this burden.
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A part of our
theology is that each body here on earth houses a spirit. We believe that these spirits
were in existence before coming to this earth and lived with God. We also believe that
when a person dies, his or her spirit returns to the world of spirits to await the
resurrection, which is a reunification of the same spirit with a resurrected body.
Our
example in this matter is Jesus Christ, who we believe lived as a spirit before he was
born into the world, then lived on the earth in the meridian of time, during which time he
performed many miracles and showed each of us the way to live, and most importantly
suffered for our sins.
We believe that after he died on the cross, Jesus’ spirit returned
to be with God, but that on the third day after his death, he was resurrected. His spirit
re-entered his body, which was now perfected and glorious.
I do not believe there are mentally ill spirits. I believe that someday, if not in this
life then in the next, my beloved daughter Jenny Marie will not be mentally ill.
I do not
wish her to say to me on another day, “Dad, when you knew I was suffering from mental
illness, why didn’t you treat me more kindly?” It is for this reason that my wife and I
have decided not to seek legal action against our daughter, or to disown her, etc.
My wife and I want what is best for our children. We have always in our own very
human and imperfect way tried to do what is best for each of them. Of course, we
made mistakes and like all people, have had occasion to repent. However, whatever
sins I may have committed, they do not include anything so heinous as molesting my
children. I love them and cherish them and their children and would never do anything
so sinful.
I could not have served as a bishop and a patriarch in our Church with these
kinds of sins hanging over my head. The Holy Ghost would have been absent, as is
explained in Helaman, chapter 4 verse 24, in the Book of Mormon: “the Spirit of the
Lord doth not dwell in unholy temples.” I have felt the Spirit of the Lord directing me on
many occasions. I pray that it always will. It is my goal to let virtue garnish my thoughts
unceasingly and that the Holy Ghost will be my constant companion. My greatest
desire is to be with my wife and children now and for eternity.
___________________________________ Date: _____________
Richard Graham Tripp